Among all the bad pieces of advice posing as Christian teaching, perhaps my least favorite is "forgive and forget."

Don't get me wrong. Forgiveness is an absolute must for all who want to follow Jesus. It is at the heart of his life and ministry, something he modeled from the start of his ministry (Mark 2:1-12) to his final hours of life (Luke 23:34). Forgiving is so important, Jesus includes it in the prayer he taught us, the prayer we say more than any other: "forgive us our sins, as we forgive those who sin against us." Yes, forgiveness is bedrock for Christians.

But forgiveness is not the same as forgetting. Forgetting is a wipe of our memory, a removal of something from our mind. But forgiveness is not about forgetting what happened, but rather refusing to allow what happened to keep hurting us. We may not be able to forget what happened, but we can choose to not be dominated by the pain any longer.

This weekend, we'll hear the story of Jesus' encounter with the disciples after he rose from the dead. After he appeared to Mary and the women, after he showed up on the road to Emmaus, Jesus "came and stood among [the disciples] and said, 'Peace be with you.'" And the very next thing he does, right after speaking words of peace to them, is to show them his hands and his side.

Think about that. The first thing Jesus does after rising from the grave is to return in peace to the very same people who abandoned and denied him. But even as he forgives, Jesus still bears the wounds of the cross on his body. Even the resurrection does not wipe away the scars of the crucifixion. His forgiveness does not depend on forgetting, but a kind of remembering that leads to a different and better future.

This story is so important to all who have experienced suffering, and can neither forget the pain nor hide the scars. Even the risen Jesus bore wounds. Forgiveness does not require forgetting what happened. We can remember, even as we ask God for the grace to forgive, so we can stop letting that old pain keep hurting us.

It is also an important story for our nation at a tender moment. Nearly 160 years after the Civil War, and nearly 60 years from the peak of the Civil Rights Movement, and we are still struggling with how to remember our country's terrible racial history. Some say that we should "forgive and forget," and insist that talking about the horrors of slavery and racism only perpetuates the wrongs of the past.

But that is not how forgiveness works, because remembering is key to experiencing the blessings of forgiveness. We have to remember the wrong – like Jesus bearing his wounds – so that forgiveness can be followed by repentance, and repentance can then lead to reconciliation. But without remembering, instead of the blessing of forgiveness, we'll only know the oppression of forced amnesia.

Father Casey