My husband and I will never forget our first visit to Transfiguration. That first Sunday when we walked in everyone was very kind. We were greeted by Ellen as well as by other members when we sat in our pew. We were impressed and enjoyed the service but as we were leaving we got bombarded! Everyone that saw us introduced themselves and asked if we would come back and when we shook Father Godwin’s hand he apologized.

You see, our first Sunday at the Fig was Stewardship Sunday! Everyone was so worried we would never come back after hearing all that money talk that they assured us it wasn’t always like that.

Chris and I still laugh about everyone’s panic and I think after 11 years it’s finally time I do my part in talking about what it means to us to give to our church. I also think it’s telling that people were worried the ‘money talk’ would scare us away and I’ve since wondered what that means for us as a church when we shy away from the conversations of giving. .

My great grandfather was a Baptist preacher and he did not mince words about tithing, “You can’t out give God!” I grew up with this mentality but when Father Casey asked me why do I think my giving to Transfiguration is giving to God, I had to go down a bit of a soul searching path and I would like to share what I came up with. The reasoning behind why I give to the church. For me, it comes down to the practical and the spiritual.

Let’s start with the practical (we are Episcopalian after all)

I helped with Vacation Bible School this summer and the to-do list was monumental. Cindy and I sat down and went over every volunteer, every supply, every possible situation and I was struck by how much work it takes to pull off a fun week for our children. Now turn that into 52 weeks of ministries across the board and you get an inkling of how much work goes in to all the good we do through our church.

Our church has a wonderful heart, there are so many things we want to do, both outside our community and inside our own building. I love hearing people enthusiastically brainstorm all the ways we could serve, all the classes we could have, all the programs we could put on. These same people usually are just as enthusiastic to sign up to help too, it’s what makes our church the special place it is.

Practically speaking, all these great ideas cannot happen without pledges. I speak first hand as Chris has recently served as the chair of the budget and finance committee. I saw him work the numbers, trying to figure out how to take the money that was pledged and make it work with all the things our church wants to accomplish. To me, the line from my giving to God’s work is fairly straight forward when you peek behind the curtain and see all the cogs turning. I give to Transfiguration because I know our staff and our vestry takes the church’s mission statement seriously and tries to make the money coming in work in ways that seek and serve Christ in all persons.

Now for the more spiritual reasons I give. The reasons that are harder to put into words, but I hope you will let me try.

This past year or so has been a difficult one for my family. Death, illness, heartache, and addiction have hit people I love and care about. This past November I lost quite a bit of faith in people that self identified as Christians when I saw their response to hateful rhetoric. If I did not have Transfiguration to come to every Sunday, I would be lost and completely out of hope. But every single Sunday my family and I show up. It’s not on account of being especially pious or good, it is because I find that when I am feeling like my worst self, kneeling at the altar and participating in the liturgy becomes an act of resistance against the darkness. I may not know exactly where the light is, but I know I have these markers to help me find the way.

And it’s not just the liturgy. It’s the music, and the children I teach, the people I share the Peace with week after week, the candle I light for my beloved grandmother, the hugs I get from friends, and the occasional surprise moment where I feel lost in a psalm or hymn and am reminded that I am not alone.

Transfiguration for me isn’t one ministry. It’s not our rector or one leader. It’s not our music program or our flowers on the altar. All that could change, could go away, and I would keep coming back. Chris and I walked into the doors 11 years ago and we felt love. When I give to Transfiguration I am declaring my faith in God’s people and all the work we can do together, all the love we can share with those that need it most.